A rising number of young Chinese people are failing fitness tests required to join the army because they are too fat and masturbate too much, state media has proclaimed. The high rejection rate has triggered concerns that there are not enough youths in good physical condition to fill the ranks of the Chinese army. Authorities also think the constant use of smartphones and drinking water with too high a mineral content are to blame.
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When I was 7 or 8, I hoisted myself into a tree and accidentally gave myself an orgasm. I only know that it made complete sense. I went at it with un-self-conscious zeal for a year or so, until I realized that it was kind of unusual and normalized my behavior by switching over to a more boring method. Whenever I tell friends and colleagues about my original method, it elicits eyebrow raises and embarrassed chuckles.
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